so, i overheard one of the bullies talking about 60 aspirin being lethal. i went home and tried it. i thought to myself, if my parents have to only take care of my little brother, then i won't go to hell if there is one.

rants from days gone by.  circa 2009.

I thought of a possibility of why doctors have that air of "superiority/untouchableness" to them. This is a follow-up to the previous blog posting.

!!ALERT!! - "Doctors may actually be people, too..." trigger possibility

Apparently no one's said it yet, but Bradley Manning, this generation's Daniel Ellsberg, may well be on the road to psychiatric character assasination, and possibly even quietly (?) labeled "ODD" (that's "Oppositional Defiant Disordered" folks). Soviet-style psychiatry rears its head openly, now (instead of merely quite secretly)? Join me in a shortish review of how character assasination and out-of-context innuendo can set the stage for blocking humanity (and how you may respond!).

The life I would have liked to of had with you.  But I am broken and trying to fix myself on my own, it is hard and I have to fix myself on my own...  I don't even know if you were ever a possibility in reality.  But I had to try and tell you something.. 

Perhaps I need(ed) someone a little emotionally stronger than me to help me put myself back together into a better man.  But  I  don't know what I am really doing any more...

I just felt I had to tell you something.

 Another day , another hour, all my brain does is torment and ponder. 

I walk around with nice clothes on, my hair comed, my mustache trimmed and my face shaved,  yet inside I am a screaming mess,  waiting for something to happen in my environment, someone to cause a fight some where about anything, so I can just finally explode and let all the rage loose, let all my anixety,fear,frustration,worry, hopes and dreams just let loose .. and when the dust settles the blood dries up and everyone gets hauled off... someone stops and asks me , who are you and what happened.