The life I would have liked to of had with you.  But I am broken and trying to fix myself on my own, it is hard and I have to fix myself on my own...  I don't even know if you were ever a possibility in reality.  But I had to try and tell you something.. 

Perhaps I need(ed) someone a little emotionally stronger than me to help me put myself back together into a better man.  But  I  don't know what I am really doing any more...

I just felt I had to tell you something.

 Another day , another hour, all my brain does is torment and ponder. 

I walk around with nice clothes on, my hair comed, my mustache trimmed and my face shaved,  yet inside I am a screaming mess,  waiting for something to happen in my environment, someone to cause a fight some where about anything, so I can just finally explode and let all the rage loose, let all my anixety,fear,frustration,worry, hopes and dreams just let loose .. and when the dust settles the blood dries up and everyone gets hauled off... someone stops and asks me , who are you and what happened.

I'd like to think of Ferris Wheels as wagon wheels for a giant...

a poem that I'm especially proud of.. look for my new book coming out soon! Aloha, Cindy

In the search for meaning,

how should one begin?

With a humble, kneeling prayer
invoking the Flaming Cubes of destiny
or some other omnipotent entity? ...

I miss you and care, but i want you too forget it,
because me in your life will never quite fit.